Keeping Your Eyes Forward Focused

 In 2016 I had a scary experience with my eyes.  Noticing that my vision was deteriorating, I had made an appointment to see the Optometrist in the town nearest to my new location.  He was an elderly doctor who had practiced forever in his little clinic.  As he was examining my eyes, he asked how many fingers he was holding up to my left side.  I couldn't see his hand (and I internally gulped).  He proceeded to ask how long I had noticed that "curtain" in my vision.  I was a bit baffled - how long had I had an entire part of my vision missing?  I knew something was wrong but I didn't realize HOW wrong it was.  And it had been off for a while too - a least a few months and maybe even more when I considered the fact that I had been experiencing floaters in my eyes for a year but figured that was just normal since my previous optometrist told me it was nothing to worry about.   Apparently, when you see a shower of black specks in your eyes, that's NOT normal! 

And so, my ordinary visit to the eye doctor turned into an emergency immediately.  I had torn my retina in multiple places and was in danger of completely detaching it I couldn't get into surgery the next day.  

I was in shock.  My grandmother had macular degeneration, which slowly took away her vision, as if a telescope focus got smaller and smaller, her curtains shrunk what she could see until it was nothing.  Her last years of life she was completely blind and in my state of stress I worried I could lose my sight before I even hit the age of 50, becoming blind like my grandma.  

We take our sight for granted, even if we have to correct it with thick lenses, expensive ones that give multi-focus for far away vision and up close.  How many things would become difficult without the use of our eyes - vision means independence and clarity about what is going on around us.  That being said, I always knew my grandma had vision beyond what her eyes could see.  She still found joy and maintained a vibrant relationship with God throughout her loss of sight.  Even though I had a talented surgeon repair my retina so I did not lose my sight, I want to have the eternal vision that I saw in my grandmother.  

As we round the bend towards a new year, I'm thinking about my vision - how to keep my eyes forward and see beyond what is obvious into what God has planned for the upcoming year. Too often my eyes are focused inward, looking at how I can better myself, or judging my actions with self-criticism, whether it's pride or insecurity matters not - it's navel gazing and it's not productive.  If my eyes are not on myself, they are on others...what do they think of me?  What are they saying about me behind closed doors?  I rise and fall upon the opinions of others and though I know my reputation must honor God, I also know that He alone sees my heart and I must live for His glory alone.  

To that end, I am setting my sights this year on God alone.  I must lay aside the pressure to please others and seek for God's approval alone:  

Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

With my eyes on God the Father, I can focus on His glory, His holiness, and His graciousness towards me.  

With my sight fixed upon Jesus Christ, I can live through His power in me and I can walk in the freedom that comes through His sacrifice for my sins.  This life I live in the body is for Him alone.

With my sight fixed upon the triune God, I am infilled with the Holy Spirit and I can have spiritual vision as I walk in the Spirit towards whatever God is calling me.  

May I turn my eyes upon the LORD, so that the things of this world will fade away.  May I focus upon what has eternal value and may I have vision for God's purposes in and through my life.